Extreme PaintBrawl

The review for this paintball based shooter is as savage as the AI opponents. Back before Splatoon made paintballing games actually fun there was this poor effort.

The reviewer points out all the flaws in the title and there are so many.

Your AI teammates are apparently struck with “artificial stupidity” while your opponents are “dead-eye shots”. Not a good combination for any game, let alone a shooter.

According to IGN the highlight of this title is its soundtrack and even that’s chaotic. No wonder it scored just 0.7 out of 10.

Toilet Tycoon

Do I really need to explain this one? Unquestionably the nadir of the Tycoon world, this one literally plumbed the depths to bring us a game bogged down in its own crap rather than flushed with success, and I think you get where I’m going with this, so I’ll stop. The idea of this one is to run your own toilet empire, starting with empty stalls and kitting them out with seats, cisterns, condom machines and everything else a passing person may need for a truly satisfying dump. There may possibly be a less appealing premise for a management game out there, but only if someone had the equally misjudged idea to turn Concentration Camp Tycoon from sarcastic pub joke into an actual product. This may not be the worst management game ever made, but it’s definitely the one I least want to spend my free time immersing myself in. Brr.

Sacred 3

Sacred 3 is a dungeon crawler without any loot. Somehow this isn’t the worst thing about it. This ferociously generic isometric hack ‘n’ slash is so tediously formatted you’d think it was developed by IKEA. Every single mission is basically identical, to the point where you can predict when a cutscene is going to occur. Yet what drags Sacred 3 from the shores of mediocrity into the ocean of disaster is its script. As unfunny as it is incessant, it constantly barrages you with cringeworthy quips such as “Scurvy, not as fun as it sounds.” You know what else isn’t as fun as it sounds? Sacred 3